Drunk Joaquin Phoenix?

Joaquin Phoenix the multi-award winning actor has retired from acting and is now seeking to make a name for himself in the music industry. Reports are coming in that Joaquin was so drunk that he was barely able to stand, let alone put on a good show for the audiences. Dressed in what must have been his “housecleaning clothes,” looking unkempt and “jiggly” to the extreme, the actor took the stage to debut as a rap artist.

As if, the rap number was not enough to discredit him as a potentially successful musician, Phoenix also took a serious tumble at the end of it, as he was trying to get off the stage. Because of this, but also because he had been acting weird all night long, bad-mouthers are saying it was very likely he was too drunk to know what he was doing.

Rumor has it that Joaquin Phoenix is currently preparing to make his debut as a rapper, having taken the Vegas circuit to test the public’s reaction. On his “trip,” he is accompanied by Casey Affleck, who is reportedly doing a documentary of the making of rapper Joaquin Phoenix. Given Joaquin’s disastrous performance, speculation is building that he might actually be making a mockumentary much in the manner of Sacha Baron Cohen.

2009 Golden Globe winners

The 2009 Golden Globe Awards took place Saturday night. I am sure you were enthralled with every moment. Just in case you missed it because you were watching “Star Wars: Return of the Jed” instead of Ryan Seacrest droll on about his favorite hair products.

This must be the year of the fugly hair. Poor Drew Barrymore looks like is wearing RuPaul’s recycled 1998 wigs. Others look like they simply forgot to go and get their hair done altogether. Christina Applegate has an enormous chunk sitting across her face.

The award of Golden Globes 2009 Fashion Disaster goes to…Heidi Klum! WTF? She looked like an emo stripper. Seal had black painted fingernails to MATCH Heidi’s. Did good taste take a vacation this year? Renee Zellweger wins second place as fancy granny from the burlesque show down the street.

Meanwhile it was reported that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie snubbed Seacrest in favor of Billy Bush on “Access Hollywood.” (Insert 5 minutes of giggles here.) He tried to “laugh off the incident” and stated that they were just trying to get into the awards. As he said this, Brangelina gave their few seconds of droll questions to Billy from Access.

Full list of the 2009 Golden Globe Award winners:

Best Motion Picture, Drama
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actor, Motion Picture, Drama
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

Best Television Series, Drama
Mad Men

Best Actress, Motion Picture, Drama
Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road

Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Best Actor, Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Colin Farrell, In Bruges

Best Director, Motion Picture
Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actress, Television Series, Musical or Comedy
Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Best Original Score, Motion Picture
A.R. Rahman, Slumdog Millionaire

Best Television Series, Comedy or Musical
30 Rock

Best Actor in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Paul Giamatti, John Adams

Best Actor in a TV Series, Comedy or Musical
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock

Best Screenplay
Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actress, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Laura Linney, John Adams

Best Foreign-Language Film
Waltz With Bashir, Israel

Best Supporting Actor, Motion Picture
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Best Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
John Adams

Best Actress, Comedy or Musical
Sally Hawkins, Happy-Go-Lucky

Best Motion Picture, Animated
WALL-E

Best Actress in a Television Series, Drama
Anna Paquin, True Blood

Actor in a Television Series, Drama
Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment

Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie
Laura Dern, Recount

Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie
Tom Wilkinson, John Adams

Original Song
“The Wrestler,” The Wrestler; music and lyrics by Bruce Springsteen

Supporting Actress, Motion Picture
Kate Winslet, The Reader

Artist preparing for Golden Globes 2009

A host of stars attend the Golden Globes in Los Angeles, for what is expected to be the glitziest event so far in this year’s awards season. The event returns to a traditional format, having been called off and replaced by a news conference in 2008 owing to the Hollywood writers’ strike.

Kate Winslet, Ralph Fiennes and Kristin Scott Thomas are among the British actors in line for honours. The film and TV awards come from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

The Globes are often regarded as an indicator of the movies and actors who will go on to win honours at the Academy Awards on 22 February. Unlike the Oscars or the Baftas, however, the ceremony has different categories for dramas and comedies.

Brad Pitt’s fantasy The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is nominated in five film categories, as are the stage-play adaptations Doubt and Frost/Nixon.